Fortune

Timing was everything as she saddled the stage

To the beat of her own drum she gave

a breath taking audition

fortunes told

fortune won

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Nights

I stayed awake.

Eyes blood red

Knowing that work needed to be finished

But I watched movies instead

It was dark deep and cold

The wind howled around

And I didn’t really care

that i never heard a sound

The freezing rain and the picture screen

It didn’t seem

To bother me

That this night was endless

Endlessly

An extra cup

As a man passed by me today

I noticed his umbrella

It was raining so it seemed logical for him to carry it

but it was his beard that didn’t make much sense

He set down his things at the booth next to mine

Then preceded to turn to me

“Would you like this cup? I got an extra.”

He said to me

It was an act of giving that made me smile

It wasn’t because I was really thirsty

but that he thought to give away the extra he had

Kindess

Cry for me

Don’t cry for me

cry for the child with no mother

Don’t cry for me

Cry for the widow who lost her child

Don’t cry for me

Cry for

cry for

till the tears run  dry

Don’t cry for me

A game

How was your day today?
On a scale of —– to —–
Keep the balance of the numbers in check
So humpty-dumpty doesnt fall off the wall
Life is a game and I’ve rolled my dice
But the mousetrap worked and my tail is caught
A single slice of pizza for me
In the form of a slap in the face
Rough day
Rough week
Rough hour

Shit

I feel like shit today

No I didn’t step in it

It is me

I climbed out of bed with the shit mindset about my day

I was angry, hurt and confused

worst of all I feel played and used

it is shitty to feel like a blackhole

with nothing to hold on to as you slide down

down

down

into oblivion of the shit day I am having

Haha I can’t even believe you’ve read this far

somehow enjoying my misery

Thanks I guess

Bombings

Am I numb to death?
Will blood no longer cause me heartbreak?
I see on the news of more innocent
I see the way they shake the camera and move on
There is grief in my heart but no rage.
There are no tears for the lost ones
Am I so numb to death that I have become the perpetrator?

The Bridge

I came to the edge of the road. A bridge expanded from my feet. Vast it was with beams and ropes. I thought about crossing that bridge. My bridge. For it was made by my imagination. I wanted to take a new journey across dangerous waters. No help of a lover or friend. Rather the bridge was mine and my own journey to cross it. I took a step and the wood planks faded underneath my feet. To my surprise I did not start falling but kept walking. Forward as I walked, the path disappeared. The bridge would leave just as I arrived. Over the brewing waters, I continued to cross until I could see the other side. On the shore of another land, I could see colors of green and even greener. Although I had felt lost before, I knew that soon I would arrive home.

Why it is still a lie

Today as I rolled out of bed, I didn’t have to worry about what I was going to wear. I had picked it out the night before. I looked in the mirror saw my white skin and straightened my brown hair. I was not threatened with death, my color did not incite hate.

Because I live in a bubble where I do not experience racism, it is easy to think everything is honky dorky. My life rolls on and I strive for feminist thoughts as I drink my coffee and head to class. Rhetoric becomes my shield and logic my armor.

But this is not the case for my black friends. They are not given the respect in the classroom let alone the public sphere. The lie that I believe is broken. When a professor tells my friend to “Speak on behalf of all blacks” racism is not dead but alive and breathing. When social media breeds texts and tweets containing the ‘N’ word and threats of death, racism is alive.

Can we kill it in one fell swoop? Will one demonstration fix us? Fix the hate? No.

We must stand each day and scream that inequality is real. We must listen to lived experiences. We must listen to loss. We must listen to success. No one conversation will change the world. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stand for what is right. I agree with the protests. I agree with those who call out racism. Voices need to be heard. Shout. Scream. Break down the oppressive rhetoric. Break down the illogical logic.

It is a lie if you believe that our country is equal. The lie destroys lives and breeds hate.

Let us live in the truth. The most beautiful, ugly, truth. Let us stand for freedom. Let us stand for justice