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I am

This morning I woke up

normal to do list

but something seethes inside of me

heart beating pulsing

I am angry

like a shark smelling blood

I am in a frenzy

I hate the day break and do not want comfort in the sun

I am angry

I want to punch a wall knowing my knuckles will crack

Blood

She never even had a final say

 

She couldn’t even say goodbye to her parents

I am sad

Like a flower wilting life seems to be leaving me

slowly

I ruminate all those things

I could have been me

I could have been me

I am sad

Her parents will never know the joy of the holidays again

each year becoming a reminder that their beloved daughter is gone

I am weeping

As I realize the futility of life tears pour from my eyes

I cry for her

I cry for the family

yet nothing will change

Time will move along

and numbness will become

callous

hard

rock

Dead

Some one died to night

on my campus

right

at

then

I really don’t know

the car swerved

maybe

she stepped out too soon

can something so terrible really just be an accident?

While I was sipping my coffee

a soul left this earth

gone

forever

bye

I am still in shock so my mind

my fingers turn to writing

it doesn’t fix it

doesn’t even make it feel better

but it’s gone

she’s gone

dead

Today

Wonderful day

breakfast with champions.

Eating with friends

Is like a warm cup of hot chocolate

everything you want in the moment

sharing memories

exchanging laughter

and I think “Wow I am blessed.”

It is moments like these that keep me

going

rowing through the waters of time

I am thankful

happy even?

Surrounded in memories that keep my heart thriving

 

My Heartish

Felt tips on the pen

smooth over any awkwardness that I might have

 

But I still seem to giggle at inappropriate times.

When I do my laundry, I succumb to the cleanliness

and my heart doesn’t know if the tumble of the dryer

will steam away the memories.

It was just yesterday that I saw

you

but then I dreamed that we were more than I ever knew

I let my self tumble and roll through the possibilities.

So I needed to write with a pen

felt tipped

There it stays my feeling in words for another day

heartish

 

Faceless

Looking in the mirror

you stare

at nothing there

nothing there

it is time to leave for the party

but your make up is not even on

and you leave the house

because you are faceless and

no one can see your eyes

Word of the Day

Juniper:

Your  green bows drooping low

to graze the floor of the earth

sweet sap and berries for me to pick

I laugh at the sound

swishing in the wind

oh little big plant

many tiny arms stretching toward the sun

In sweet beauty and grace

I look toward the top

“Juniper” I whisper

“Your heart never stops

Teach me your ways

Wise old tree”