You caught me monologuing

Wow, I can’t believe that another week has flown by and that life seems to whip by. You know that feeling you get when you are a passenger in a car and you can’t see everything that passes you by? You can see trees and lights if you really focus but then in a moment they are gone and you don’t even remember what you just saw.

This is how my life feels right now.

I don’t necessarily want it to be that way but the flood of time and work pushes me along the week, the day and the hour; I forget what time it really is. When I forget about time and space, it re-affirms by belief that I suffer from disassociation.

But its all okay.

Yesterday, I was able to visit an ice cream place that is located on a local farm. The ice cream is super fresh and incredibly delicious. I was definitely captivated by the ice cream (I got chocolate peanut butter) but I couldn’t help just staring at the sky and the beautiful scenery. When I was younger, I thought that I would move to the city and live in a high-rise building. With fast cars and fancy foods, I wanted to build my life there. Although I am not old, I am older than I was and I no longer share this desire with my past self. Instead when I visit farms and the countryside, I realize that this is truly where I want to exist. Watching the rolling clouds in the distance and the slow setting sun.

I do wonder though, if I have a romantic notion of the countryside.

But when I see the tress, grass, rolling hills and farm animals, time moves slower. I feel grounded. I don’t mind that time moves slowly, instead I crave it.

Maybe one day I will be able to live where time stands still and enjoy the natural world.

-L

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