Sunshine Blogger

Hello all! Over the course of these past two weeks, two lovely writers nominated me for the “sunshine blogger”. As many of you might know, this is tag is a fun way to get to know other authors and share in the joy of writing. I will be combining these questions into one post so please buckle up for A LOT of reading. My normal saturday posts are normally lengthy so luckily this isn’t too far form what I usually post.

Here we go:

First a huge thank you to Pallavi and Lazarus for nominating me. I have followed their writing for a few months now and I really enjoy the ways that they express themselves with words. Please check out their sites and give their work a read through!

Curating Thoughts (Pallavi): https://curatingthoughts.blog/2019/10/09/be-kind-to-yourself/

The Poets Peace (Lazarus): https://thepoetspeace.wordpress.com/2019/07/31/the-shining-star/

Sunshine Blogger Award Rules:

  1. Thank the Blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them
  2. List the rules and display an award logo on your blog post.
  3. Answer the 11 Questions the blogger asked you.
  4. Nominate up to 11 new blogs to receive the award and notify them by commenting on any of their posts.
  5. Ask the Nominees 11 new questions.

11 (actually 20) Questions Asked of Me:

What/who inspires on on a daily basis?

I am very inspired by the natural world. The colors, shapes and forms found in the woods, in the seas and in the skies. Somedays the world seems almost too beautiful. When I drive into work each morning, it is the time I can marvel at everything.  Then later, I find myself including nature and references to these things in my poems.

Did blogging seek you or you sought this art?

Honestly, I think blogging/writing sought me. I am not naturally bent toward writing. In grade school, writing was a challenge because I could never seem to write what I was thinking. Over the years, I became a better writer but my creativity in writing was still lacking. I started to blog to write down my thoughts and feelings which I didn’t want to share with others. Then, this blog became more then just a place to vent but a place to imagine and create. It has been wonderful to continue to pursue writing and read other poems by others who are similar to me; individuals trying to carve out space for their thoughts and feelings.

Which is that one post of yours which you loved the most? you can share the link!

It’s hard to choose, but this is a poem I always like going back to read: https://liyonadancer100.wordpress.com/2017/12/26/just-me/

What is the best advise you have received and from whom?

During an academic trip, I met an anthropologist who consoled me when I told her about my doubts of pursuing a doctorate degree. She said “No matter where you end up, you will always be an anthropologist. This study has changed you, you won’t forget it and wherever you work you will use your anthropolgical perspective.” I think about this conversation a lot more than I would like to admit. And honestly, this piece of advice has grounded me over the past few years.

What’s your comfort food?

Pasta, pasta and more PASTA. Had these dishes a lot as a child and now a good lasanga or baked ziti puts me in a good mood immediately.

If you could time travel, which year would you visit? and why?

I am a bit obessed with the past. Don’t get me wrong, the past is very problematic but what time period isn’t? But, I am not just talking about going to the Rennaissance or ancient China. I want to go to the building of the stonehenge or the making of the cave paintings found in all over the world. There is a place in the US called Chaco Canyon. I would love to visit during a summer solstice celebration. Even just answering this question makes me dream about being at those places during those times.

Which is your favorite book and why?

My favourite book is And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie. First of all, Agatha Christie is my favorite author and secondly, I think this is one of her best works. Honestly, this book should be required reading because of the way the story is told. I love this book because the mystery is captivating and I have not found a better use of suspense as a story mechanic.

Has anyone pleasantly surprised you in the recent past and how?

Ha! I am thinking to the phone conversation where my best friend told me about a crazy thing she did. This took me by surprise but it was all lovely and fun all at once. I know I’m being cryptic but I can’t spill all the secrets!

What’s one thing you cant stand?

I can’t stand when people devalue hard work or when people don’t put in effort to accomplish a task. If you want me to elaborate, just ask.

What do you think of our world today?

Ahhhh, what a question. Well all in all, I think the world is a crazy place. Crazy good, crazy scary, crazy fun, crazy fast, and crazy difficult. There is good and bad in this world and it is crazy to think that I am part of it.

If you had a superpower (you might already have one), what would it be?

Gosh, when I was younger, I really wanted to be invisible and wander museums or palaces to find all the treasures therein without anyone knowing I was there. Now, I think I would want to have to super power to teleport. Then I would be able to go anywhere! I could visit people, but I could also help people!

What is the first thing you do after waking up?

After waking up, I click-clack on to the computer and write some poems.

What is the most valuable thing you’ve learned from blogging?

I’ve learned that it is important to stay consistent with this craft. Writing/blogging is not an easy master to please. This craft required consistency and endurance as your try to cultivate your thoughts into words. Practically, this has translated into me writing and posting even when I think the poem is bad.

Do you have any pets?

Sort of, the pet isn’t solely mine. My family has a dog and I love him very much.

Do you prefer to use a laptop/computer or your phone for blogging?

Mostly, I use my desktop computer but sometimes I use my phone.

You have been arrested. What is the crime you are most worried about being falsely accused of?

Lordy, I’ve been arrested? I imagine myself being able to disappear before being taken in. No trace.

What is your favorite fantasy creature?

I have soft spot for anything that looks adorable. So my favorite is anything cute? But I enjoy fantasy creatures that also have magical powers, which now that I write that sentence, I am realizing that is most of them.

What do you do for fun?

Pretend.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Well, if writing under a pen name didn’t tell you already, I’m an introvert. Welcome to the silent party guys, let’s sit and read books or watch tv together.

What makes you want to keep writing?

I love the idea the people will feel inspired to start writing after reading a poem of mine. Or the idea that others can relate to the feelings and emotions that I try to put into words. I keep writing because of how it connets me to others and how it helps me reflect a truer version of myself to the world around me.

And The Nominees Are :

Anyone who has read this far into the post, consider yourself nominated! Seriously, if you are reading this part, I give you an ethernet high-five and encourage you to write your own sunshine blogger post. It is fun to mix it up so please write away! I will be looking forward to reading your responses!

11 (actually just 7) Questions for My Nominees:

  1. What is one of your favorite books you read as a child? and why?
  2. What has had the biggest impact on your writing journey?
  3. Have you ever had your work published? If so, share a link!
  4. What is your favorite genre? Horror, mystery, thriller, romance? Why?
  5.  What does your writing prcess look like? Do you edit your work?
  6. Have you told anyone in your everyday life about your blog? (don’t worry if you haven’t neither have I)
  7.  Which book or author has really impacted you as a writer?
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What drives you?

I had an interesting conversation with my co-worker yesterday. We chatted about how it is important to find joy in your work and if you are able to make your passion your work that’s even better. At one point, my co-worker mentioned getting up early everyday to draw so that he could practice this skill since he wasn’t doing that at work. I said flipantly that I don’t have anything that I get up and do. I don’t go home and draw or edit on Premiere Pro software: I rarely take photos even though I would consider this a passion of mine, or at least a hobby. But, after I admitted this fact I realized that I DO wake up each day to do something.

I write.

For the past 3 months, I have spent each morning jotting down a small poem and reading fellow writers to find inspiration. Over the course of these months, I have been excited to get up and write each moring. I can’t wait for my dreams to end so that I can be part of the wordpress blogger community and evoke feelings with words.

While I don’t plan on ever being a full time writer, the act of writing has helped ground me. So, I must like writing, right? Why else would I keep doing it?

I found it weird that I couldn’t tell my coworker about my writing. I guess I couldn’t because writing is so personal to me. It becomes a reflection of my inner self at times. I didn’t want to tell him about how I sit each morning and craft words and rhymes together. I get embarassed trying to describe poems or prose to others because most of them I know are not as good as they could be.

Obviously, everyone doubts the quality of their work but I do this constantly.  The only think that has seemed to help this doubt is to consistently write each morming. But every now and then, sometimes doubt rears its angry head.

So in the end, after this conversation, I realized that I do in fact have a craft that I am practicing. I am slowly learning more about prose, more about writing. I am becoming more familiar with my feelings and how they relate to words. This in turn makes me want to write songs and sing them which is another new craft I could develop. But most of all I realized that I do not want to confine my interests to a “career” path. I do not want to make writing become a chore. It is okay for this hobby to stay a hobby and pursue enjoyment from the words that I and others write each day.

Be well,

L

 

 


Photo by Karolina Badzmierowska on Unsplash

Monday’s Reflection

Normally, I try to write a bit of a reflection piece during the weekend. But this weekend, I enjoyed the stillness and laziness that Saturday and Sunday can bring. It was quite wonderful. On Sunday, I sat outside listening to my favorite podcast and took a nap. The sun was so warm and cozy that I didn’t even mind that it felt more like a summer day in June rather than the end of September. Just getting outside and putting my feet on the old sand box I have in my yard made me forget about writing, blogging and keeping up with things. Do you ever feel this way?

Sometimes nature seems to pull you away from everything that you wanted to do, but the tugging is so gentle and serene you are happy to accomadate.

Choosing to rest and take a moment to breathe sometimes feels selfish. Because there is a long list of to-do’s that I should accomplish, but I choose to relax instead. I’m at a point in my life that I can identify this incorrect way of thinking but this feeling of regret lingers nonetheless. I know that my body and soul deserves rest but I need to still convince my mind and my heart that this is true.

Rest

(verb)

  1. cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.

(noun)

  1.  an instance or period of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity.

 

As the work week starts again, I will working more than resting. But the weekend sabbath has replenished my chutzpa and I am ready to tackle what lies ahead.

Be well,

L

 


Photo by Elena Saharova on Unsplash.

Regaining normal

Hello!

It has been a while since I sat down to write an update on my life, my wanderings and my dreams. These past few weeks I have been traveling for work, traveling to visit friends and all in all having a busy time. I knew going into September it would be quite busy, a rush of things to do and places to be: But now that I am in the midst of it, I keep trying to carve out moments of rest and peace so that I don’t forget myself. I find it too easy to let the tide of life sweep me away with little care to how I am actually feeling. It’s hard to be “in the moment” when you have a long list of to do’s to accomplish.

So here I am clacking away on my keyboard giving myself a moment to process and understand the past few weeks.

Fun fact about me, this month I celebrated my birthday. Over the years, I have come to enjoy my birthday as a time for reflection and celebrating the loving friends and family that I have around me. But, it hasn’t always been this way. I used to hate my birthday, really,  there was such a terrible bitter anger toward the day. You might be confused, you might ask if something horrible happened on my birthday. Not really. Actually, this distaste derived from the fact that I never liked being at the center of attention at parties and that I never understood how to accept presents. Weird, I know. Now that I’ve grown, my attitudes toward birthdays have changed and I am better for it. I don’t flaunt that day with balloons and cake, rather I like to recount my blessings and tell people how much I appreciate them when they wish me “Happy Birthday”. As I grow older, I see my birthday as more like my personal New Year’s day. People make resolutions for the new year but I make resolutions for my birthday. Maybe that’s also weird but I think that we have already established this fact… So I thought I would share with you some of my personal resolutions for my next year of life.

-Continue to seek joy in all circumstances

-Grow in communicating feelings,thoughts and desires 

-Maintain personal relationships with close family and friends

-Publish a collection of my poems (a very daunting task! But I have a year to do it, right?)

I am very excited to see what the new year holds for me. Also, I am so happy to be part of the Go Dog Go Cafe, as this has helped me continue to cultivate my writing and my prose. This past year was a good year, but I know there is still so much more to learn and experience. I feel that for the first time, I am ready for it. I am ready to learn, ready to run boldy and face the day. For life is complex, life is confusing but life is also beautiful and I am looking forward to living it.

Be well,

L

 


Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash.

 

Wondering Somethings

Sitting here on this Saturday and sipping my coffee…

After another week, I feel as though I am left with more questions than answers. Instead of writing about what I learned, I think I just want to write my questions. Sometimes I don’t want answers, instead I want to ask and wonder, ponder and think. Hence this post.

There really isn’t a rhyme or reason to any of them but feel free to share your own questions along with mine.


When I wake up in the morning, why is there a tightness in my chest that doesn’t abate?

Will the fall time breeze make me happier than I am now?

Why have I waited so long to try and find a long lost love?

As I grow older, will I become wiser? Or do I have to develop my wisdom?

How will the children of the future view this past reality?

Is patience another word for laiziness?

Why is money so important even though it never brings me happiness?

Can I be brave enough to develop a passion into a career?


 

Photo by Patryk Sobczak on Unsplash

 

 

A bit more time

As summer comes to slow close, I am so excited to start wearing sweaters again. Nothing like the cold air licking at your ears, making the snuggles against your clothes extra wonderful and nice.

But along with the changing seasons, I can’t help but wishing there was a bit more time. More time to savor the long sunny nights and more time to smell sweet flowers. Summer isn’t finished yet but it is starting to wane.

This spring, I gave myself an unspoken deadline that I would find a new job and a new place to live by the end of summer. But this dream of mine, slowly seems more impractical as fall approaches. I do wish that summer could last a few more months so that I can get my personal “act” together.

Hmmm, but even with this unaccomplished goal on my checklist of life, I still relish the idea of fall arriving early. I can’t wait for the leaves to change and the rain to blown in.  As this season changes, I must remember to let my own life change at a pace that fits the rhythms of life.

Be well,

L


Photo by Aron Visuals on Usplash

5 Thoughts

Hello! This week I was inspired by Katie Kay to write about 5 things that I’ve had on my mind. Read her post here. Thanks for the inspiration Katie!

1)Joy.

                 At certain times in my life, I have found it hard to have joy, see joy, taste joy. The thing is joy is not dependant on my physical, spiritual or emotional circumstances. Joy is found both within myself and outside myself. Even if I feel no joy, I can trust that there is something else in the universe that it is joyful and I can turn and look at this instead. Maybe this sounds like jumbled up philosophical nonsense that doesn’t really make sense. But the action of finding joy has given me more hope than I thought was possible. Recently, I have realized that joy is key to my existence. I must find joy in the absurd, joy in the depressing and joy in the lovely. For in those moments where I dig deep, this is where I can truly make changes and create a more positive life for myself. Darkness may exist but I will shine through it with my joy.

2) It’s not the destination that matters

              Now that I have ticked all of the educational boxes in my life (ie, middle school,highschool, college…) I have found it hard to define my “purpose”. In the past few years, I have bumped along from one job to another with no specific goal. This lack of a defined goal has left me confused and lonely. Sometimes I don’t know what the hell I am doing, other days I feel so convinced of my calling that I feel on fire. Have you felt this way? In recent months, after continuing on with my everyday existence, I have found that life really is about the journey not the destination. In the US, we are so focused on goals and achievements, I feel that we sometimes lose sight of the true beauty found in the journey.  Traveling, living, these small seemingly mundane moments are where my life is truly lived. And in this simplicity, I find myself becoming more and more content. My journey is not done and I don’t mind not knowing where I am going.

3) Miss Fishers independence

                 Recently, I have been watching “Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries” on the good ol’ netflix (not a sponsor). I am really enjoying this series and can’t believe I never saw it before. I am a true sucker for anything mysterious and so after the first episode I was hooked. Also who doesn’t love a gunslinging, rich and powerful lady detective? Anyway, this series has helped inspire some of my own stories for two kid detective characters that I have been working on. Maybe one day these characters will see the light of day. 

4) Wanting to travel/ making plans

               As much as the destination OF LIFE doesn’t matter, I am really itching to travel and go places. I have a friend living abroad and I am trying/hoping/praying that I will be able to make it out to her sometime soon! For me, I have to start talking about travel plans way in advance so that I begin to take my desires seriously. It might sound strange but I basically need to hype myself up to even consider a trip. This is just the way my crazy brain works. Anyway, I have been looking at tickets and searching for cheap flight options (if that is even a thing) and trying to visualize myself going and traveling around the world. Fingers crossed that everything will work out! 

5) The future is bright

             Even if I don’t feel this to be true every moment of the day, my future is bright. I have been thinking about “what’s next” in life and I have come to the conclusion that no matter what, it will be bright.  By trying to answer this question, I have cause headaches, stomach pains and needless anxiety. I don’t know what clicked in my head the other day (maybe I’m maturing??) but now when I ask myself “what’s next” my answer is, “the future is bright”. I won’t worry about what lies ahead or what lies behind. Instead I will trust that the future is bright, because,really, it is.

 

Be well,

L

A week of questions

Gahhh! Its the end of another week and now I have to think of words and things to write down so it doesn’t seem like my life it truly falling apart.

In other news, I think I might be in for a huge life change. Talking about career change, lifestyle change, paradigm shift. The whole sha- bang.  The biggest thing I need to overcome is my fear of the unknown. This fear has immobilized me for so long. Taking control of my thoughts, feelings and future. I have let it overtake my decisions and run me around the carousel of life.

It will be hard to overcome it.

It will take courage.

Courage, something so simple and foundational in those superhero stores but seemingly elusive in my every day existence. Can one cultivate courage? Or must you inherit this trait like the color of one’s skin? Can I become courageous?

Be not afraid, my soul whispers.

But will the whisper be loud enough?

You caught me monologuing

Wow, I can’t believe that another week has flown by and that life seems to whip by. You know that feeling you get when you are a passenger in a car and you can’t see everything that passes you by? You can see trees and lights if you really focus but then in a moment they are gone and you don’t even remember what you just saw.

This is how my life feels right now.

I don’t necessarily want it to be that way but the flood of time and work pushes me along the week, the day and the hour; I forget what time it really is. When I forget about time and space, it re-affirms by belief that I suffer from disassociation.

But its all okay.

Yesterday, I was able to visit an ice cream place that is located on a local farm. The ice cream is super fresh and incredibly delicious. I was definitely captivated by the ice cream (I got chocolate peanut butter) but I couldn’t help just staring at the sky and the beautiful scenery. When I was younger, I thought that I would move to the city and live in a high-rise building. With fast cars and fancy foods, I wanted to build my life there. Although I am not old, I am older than I was and I no longer share this desire with my past self. Instead when I visit farms and the countryside, I realize that this is truly where I want to exist. Watching the rolling clouds in the distance and the slow setting sun.

I do wonder though, if I have a romantic notion of the countryside.

But when I see the tress, grass, rolling hills and farm animals, time moves slower. I feel grounded. I don’t mind that time moves slowly, instead I crave it.

Maybe one day I will be able to live where time stands still and enjoy the natural world.

-L

Moving and Motion

This past week, I moved house. I had to pack up all my things put them in boxes and lug all my stuff to a new, different place. The act of moving, really puts into perspective how much I hold onto my sense of place with my sense of self.

For a year now, I have been living in a tiny apartment, essentially all by myself. I had a roommate that soon became non existent as they moved in with their boyfriend. Why did they still pay rent? I really have no idea. Regardless the silence that I lived in made me think that I am a quiet person. It also made me think that I am someone that deserves to be alone. Although I did not try to isolate myself, it just started to happen naturally. So when I hear about social isolation being a huge problem for the elderly in society, I understand how it happens. Slowly it creeps up on you and then you think that being alone is what you deserve. I had to actively fight against feeling lonely and alone. Too much honesty? maybe… But even though this move was taxing physically and mentally, I am going to be part of a community again and live alongside others which I know will be both refreshing and rejuvenating.

Know that you deserve good, refreshing company and that there are those around you who want to support you. Fight for joyful company and your heart will slowly heal.

-L

(those last words are directed to those who feel alone and to myself as well)