As I lay down each night, my mind drift into dreams. I am captivated by my own imagination. I find myself in a beautiful forest. Trees shading the path before me. I even feel the soft breeze brush my face. I blink and my mind has brought me to another place. I am at a train station trying to go somewhere. My friend is right beside me and I am happy that I have a traveling companion. She and I are anxious to not miss our train. With our tickets in hand, we board the light rain and it zooms off from the station. I blink again and I am brought to a familiar place but it still seems a bit unrecognizable. A gentleman reaches out his hand and asks for a dance. I swing and twirl and laugh. I am so happy. Happy as can be. Who will wake me from this sweet eternal bliss?
As I see those news reports and online videos, I cringe. Anger boils up inside of me. All I want to do is smash glass bottles and punch through walls. How dare those people treat young black women this way? How dare they use their power to abuse the system. I want to walk across the broken glass bottles till my feet are torn and bleeding. Brutalized, like how all those boys, men, women and girls have been treated. I want to walk through their clean, white, suburban houses with a baseball bat and smash down all their walls. The walls that confine their ways thought. The walls that do not see color. The walls of thought that keep racism alive. I want to take racism by the throat and dig my finger nails into their flesh. “You have no place here.” I whisper vehemently. Then, with a strong arm, I throw racism out. I banish them. I turn back around and see people trying to re-build their racist houses. They try to piece their logic back together with cynicism and pity. They struggle to re-build much of anything. I look at them in disgust for defending their racist homes. How dare you defend a abuser of power. How dare you dismiss pain and hurt. How dare you put back on your glasses of blindness. All I want to do is smash glass bottles and punch through walls but I find that it is exhausting and my eyes can hardly stay open. I fall fast asleep much to my demise.