Mantra

Sometimes when you feel 

Empty

No words or smiles leave your mind

Sometimes when you feel 

Lazy

Moments slip from your fingers

Leaving you a hollow

Shell.

But wait a moment

Take that hollow

And snuggle in the tree that you have found

Like Winne the Pooh

Warm yourself with the sweet sap 

Making a home for yourself

Do not tred in these lazy thoughts

But instead call it

Meditation

The only thing left empty

Is your warehouse 

For you have invited so many guests

To enjoy your hollow

Believe you can share with others

The beauty and love found only

In you. 

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Complicated

I believe in the complex

the symmetry of entropy

constant

life is more complicated than

my political affiliation or

my gender

at least I believe so

taking everything into account seems

like a daunting task

until you realize it is the only way to understand

fully how I think

the mess of my mind

creates the words and jokes I tell

sorry, I can really be crude, can’t I

I didn’t mean it

any of it

life it too complicated to be taken

completely seriously

Right, Friend?

We both say hogwash but mean daisies and roses

we both glance at our watches and remember our schedules

plotting life adventures like a math problem

Geometry maybe?

Sometimes the simplest “Hello”

will help me realize that life isn’t as

complicated as I make it seem

when I reduce my fractions and

smile in the mirror

then I can start to focus

on the objects of happiness and joy

that make this world Simple

Word of the Day

Juniper:

Your  green bows drooping low

to graze the floor of the earth

sweet sap and berries for me to pick

I laugh at the sound

swishing in the wind

oh little big plant

many tiny arms stretching toward the sun

In sweet beauty and grace

I look toward the top

“Juniper” I whisper

“Your heart never stops

Teach me your ways

Wise old tree”

Writing:Living

I haven’t written in a while. Well a few days at least. It seems that part of me is dying when I forget to express myself through words. Maybe I’m just a romantic poet hoping to live a little. Maybe I am slowly dying and feel as though my words help me live past myself. Do you ever feel like crafting a whole story just to tear it up? Do you ever want to burn bridges just to watch?

It seems as though my life is consistently a balancing act over dark waters. And sometimes I just need the comfort of my own thoughts to take me from my reality.

Nights

I stayed awake.

Eyes blood red

Knowing that work needed to be finished

But I watched movies instead

It was dark deep and cold

The wind howled around

And I didn’t really care

that i never heard a sound

The freezing rain and the picture screen

It didn’t seem

To bother me

That this night was endless

Endlessly

An extra cup

As a man passed by me today

I noticed his umbrella

It was raining so it seemed logical for him to carry it

but it was his beard that didn’t make much sense

He set down his things at the booth next to mine

Then preceded to turn to me

“Would you like this cup? I got an extra.”

He said to me

It was an act of giving that made me smile

It wasn’t because I was really thirsty

but that he thought to give away the extra he had

Kindess

A game

How was your day today?
On a scale of —– to —–
Keep the balance of the numbers in check
So humpty-dumpty doesnt fall off the wall
Life is a game and I’ve rolled my dice
But the mousetrap worked and my tail is caught
A single slice of pizza for me
In the form of a slap in the face
Rough day
Rough week
Rough hour

Shit

I feel like shit today

No I didn’t step in it

It is me

I climbed out of bed with the shit mindset about my day

I was angry, hurt and confused

worst of all I feel played and used

it is shitty to feel like a blackhole

with nothing to hold on to as you slide down

down

down

into oblivion of the shit day I am having

Haha I can’t even believe you’ve read this far

somehow enjoying my misery

Thanks I guess

Background

I fade into the background as I try and win over your countenance. It is a glance and nothing more. I realized that I dreamed about you. But why? Is my only motive physical? There I stood, going along my day, hoping to catch maybe just a smile. I heard that you called someone else wonderful and my heart sank. The background became my foreground and I didn’t know how to get out of the painting. It seems my shyness had kept me from discovering more of you. Or maybe it has kept you from seeing me. Do not cast a gaze deeper because I’m not sure what’s underneath my surface. My heart still tries to love you from afar. In my own way, I have you labeled as my own as we walked by each-other today. The backdrop to your universe, I try to sit still so you won’t notice me. I noticed you noticing and I tried to become a blur. Please do not take offense to me for I have not decided who you are to me. I am afraid of what you might become, someone to love.