Mathamatics

Adding up all the places I’ve been

and I can fill a sheet of paper with words

But then I must subtract the ways

that I have been rude to you and other people

It seemed fun at first to sum up my life

in a short and Pythagorian way

then I stared at the paper too long

and my thoughts and feelings divided from the original fun

I realized that I was too young and too old all at once

I child living in a world that expected a certain amount of responsibility

I felt very lost as the integral of space between reality and fantasy grew larger and larger

There was no way to bridge the gap

even multiplying my happy thoughts did not suffice to stem the exponential growth

further and further my dreams left my mind ans I glanced at the paper

I subtracted happiness from money

and all that remained was a fantasy I knew was not real

Imaginary numbers consoled me along as I grasped to understand the equation of life

History taught me something too but I seemed only to heed the teacher in front of my eyes

I thought the story would end happy

that is what I told myself

so I ripped the paper into shreds and started fresh

and there I started to add up all the moments worth cherishing in my life

I left enough room to account for the variable that

my happiness you continue on

1+2+3…+n

My Dreamscape

As I lay down each night, my mind drift into dreams. I am captivated by my own imagination. I find myself in a beautiful forest. Trees shading the path before me. I even feel the soft breeze brush my face. I blink and my mind has brought me to another place. I am at a train station trying to go somewhere. My friend is right beside me and I am happy that I have a traveling companion. She and I are anxious to not  miss our train. With our tickets in hand, we board the light rain and it zooms off from the station. I blink again and I am brought to a familiar place but it still seems a bit unrecognizable. A gentleman reaches out his hand and asks for a dance. I swing and twirl and laugh. I am so happy. Happy as can be. Who will wake me from this sweet eternal bliss?

Today

I rose this morning with a song in my step. I was happier than usually. For once, I was not dwelling on my own internal dialogue. I was celebrating someone else’s existence. Yes, it’s just a small gift and it might not mean much. But it resembles me looking out from myself. Noting others reality and being happy that they are part of mine. The gift wrapping crinkles in my hand and my heart pounds in expectation. I hand over the gift excited to be part of this moment. I am happy to be apart from my own thoughts and desires. This other person. This other life. Today is set apart just for them.