porcelain skin

Dark nights

And damp mornings

Leave me

With pits and ripened aches

In my chest

It was at the hotel

In town square

Where I fell into his

Porcelain skin

Tempted by the 

Color of lust

Only to wake 

At the dawn of

The sun

And see that my own

Soul had 

Turned to stone.

Hardened to my

Regrets 

And sins.


Photo by Ilona Bellotto on Unsplash. If you are interested in learning more about the inspiration and background of my work, check out my kofi page.

Where I go no one can follow

Far and wide the river ran

Outside of my heart running deep

Carving stone waters rushing

There I stood at the edge

Almost falling in

Hollow and alone I saw the rushing

Feelings pass me by

As I let the river rush along

Never touching the deep

For where I go 

No one can follow

And where I tred

None can comfort

My absent mind believing that the

Waters will poison me

Long and empty I stood at the 

Water’s edge not knowing that 

Comfort

Wholeness

Acceptance 

And 

Deliverance

Lay on the other side.


This piece is inspired by the Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge over at Go Dog Go Cafe. Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash If you are interesed in learning more about the inspiration and background of my work, check out my kofi page.

A Funny Thing

Life can be a funny thing

no?

When you’re sick in bed

that’s when you understand

life

liberty and

the pursuit of happiness

Some how

blowing your nose

ten million times

gives you the insight

into how the universe

ticks

.

I was pretty sick this past week, but had time to contemplate lifes existence. Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.

A bit more time

As summer comes to slow close, I am so excited to start wearing sweaters again. Nothing like the cold air licking at your ears, making the snuggles against your clothes extra wonderful and nice.

But along with the changing seasons, I can’t help but wishing there was a bit more time. More time to savor the long sunny nights and more time to smell sweet flowers. Summer isn’t finished yet but it is starting to wane.

This spring, I gave myself an unspoken deadline that I would find a new job and a new place to live by the end of summer. But this dream of mine, slowly seems more impractical as fall approaches. I do wish that summer could last a few more months so that I can get my personal “act” together.

Hmmm, but even with this unaccomplished goal on my checklist of life, I still relish the idea of fall arriving early. I can’t wait for the leaves to change and the rain to blown in.  As this season changes, I must remember to let my own life change at a pace that fits the rhythms of life.

Be well,

L


Photo by Aron Visuals on Usplash

Lanes

Choosing which lane

to converge into

when I drove

home last night

thinking about

how the highway

fast car

bright light

life

really doesn’t suit

my hopes

dreams

Driving far away

maybe that is the cure

to my restless

heart and

hopeful mind

will I give up

a life that I built for myself?

will I let go of the past and

gain so much more from the future?

as the lanes merge into one

I began to realize

its hard to define

time

life and meaning

instead I need to follow

Your lead.

You caught me monologuing

Wow, I can’t believe that another week has flown by and that life seems to whip by. You know that feeling you get when you are a passenger in a car and you can’t see everything that passes you by? You can see trees and lights if you really focus but then in a moment they are gone and you don’t even remember what you just saw.

This is how my life feels right now.

I don’t necessarily want it to be that way but the flood of time and work pushes me along the week, the day and the hour; I forget what time it really is. When I forget about time and space, it re-affirms by belief that I suffer from disassociation.

But its all okay.

Yesterday, I was able to visit an ice cream place that is located on a local farm. The ice cream is super fresh and incredibly delicious. I was definitely captivated by the ice cream (I got chocolate peanut butter) but I couldn’t help just staring at the sky and the beautiful scenery. When I was younger, I thought that I would move to the city and live in a high-rise building. With fast cars and fancy foods, I wanted to build my life there. Although I am not old, I am older than I was and I no longer share this desire with my past self. Instead when I visit farms and the countryside, I realize that this is truly where I want to exist. Watching the rolling clouds in the distance and the slow setting sun.

I do wonder though, if I have a romantic notion of the countryside.

But when I see the tress, grass, rolling hills and farm animals, time moves slower. I feel grounded. I don’t mind that time moves slowly, instead I crave it.

Maybe one day I will be able to live where time stands still and enjoy the natural world.

-L

From Far Away

Last time I sat and wrote something longer, I talked about the season of life in which I fins myself. Although I’d like to keep thinking existential thoughts, why don’t I move along.

This week has been very busy even though I haven’t traveled anywhere. Instead, I have been preparing for travel. The preparation of the thing seems to me just as important as the journey itself. I am not one of those travelers who can go on a whim with no thought about where the next meal will come from. Rather, I plan accordingly and detail out how much I should bring and what shoes I should wear. As I near the trip, I start to get anxieties about whether or not I even planned enough. At some point, this worry multiplies into thoughts about whether I should go on the trip at all.

I am starting to realize that life isn’t lived while you are planning. Real moments are formed when you let the travel take you to your next adventure. As much as I want to be in control and make each moment special, the reality is I am not physically capable to do so.  Even though I am just taking a weekend trip, this realization has broader impact on my perspective. The prepping, the doomsday attitude will only provide me so much comfort and joy when I walk through life’s journey.

Therefore, this weekend I won’t worry about each meal or each moment spent. Instead I will roll with the punches, let me hair down, throw caution to the wind and treasure each uncertain moment.

 

-L

 

Discovering that

The new life

I can lead

Is easy

And the yoke is light

For even the tears now

Can turn to a smile in the future

Its an easy

One

Two

Three

Steps and then you will

Find the happiness

That surfaces when you

Find a buttercup

In the garden

Loose leaves

And light colors

Falling through

The branches

To light the way

And keep a lamp at my feet

I look forward with my

Head held high

Up

The worlds looking

Up

Up

Up

And I scoffed at the grave digger

For he thought he had a plan

The worlds looking up

And you cant wait to look down

Sky so blue

Your eyes start to water

Its looking up

And you’re stuck staring down