Reality of a Blogger

Wakes up

Sleepy eyes

Drooled crust on my lips

Brush my hair

With my hands

Down a gallon of coffee

To jump start my senses

Rhythms start playing out in my head

Turn on the computer

To rattle the keys

To the beat of my caffeine rush

Stare at the words

Stare at the words

Leave for a break

But never return

Because you picked up a

Super good book

Look at the time

The day is finally done

Remeber how you wanted to write a

Poem

Forget to press “publish”

And hit the pillow

With an effortless

Thud

That knocks you out into

Discreet obscurity

To live your life

On a make believe

Dream

Forgot

I forgot what it was like

To write

And write 

And write

Like a smooth sail in the wind

Water

Ship down

Splashing to breathe

Above

I forgot what it was like

To hold a hand

And say amen

Like a moth running

To a flame

First its bright

And warm

Then its blinding

And i 

Burn

Story…

Here is the start of a story I wrote. What do you think?

Looked Through

 

She paced the floor of her bedroom…

“That is how I wanted the story to start Jennie” said Fear. “But you know, I think that it will make more sense for there to be a more dramatic opening.”

More like a dramatic closing, I thought.

“Can we be done with this? I am tired and I want to go home.”

“Jennie!” Fear sighed “its always about what you want, isn’t it. Can’t we do something that I want to do? Isn’t there any joy for you in participating in things that I love?”

I glanced at Fear as though I hadn’t heard her. I knew it would make her angry but I didn’t care. I no longer wanted to be stuck in this room with just a chair and a computer. I no longer wanted to try and pretend that I was interested.

“You know; it would be nice to have you listen once in a while” Fear turned back to her computer. My glance had done the trick. She was annoyed and not she would want me to leave. “Just leave Jennie”

Without even a goodbye, I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my backpack. Life needed living and it wasn’t happening with Fear.

“I’ll be back by curfew” I said mockingly to Fear as I left her apartment. Gosh the cool fresh air felt nice. I felt as though I could breathe again. Not that I wasn’t breathing before but now it felt more real. I walked down the stairs of the building and hit the sidewalk with a run. I didn’t need to run but I wanted race myself. Push myself farther. I passed a sign for a coffee shop. The neon green read open. Just as I passed the window, a person pushed open the front door to the shop and I stumbled into them. They were holding coffee in their hands and looking down at their phone. I was looking at the sign and running too fast to care.

“Goodness! You’re moving fast, aren’t you?” the man said. “Luckily, my coffee didn’t spill”. I grunted a “Yes” and glanced up. Of course he would care if his coffee spilled. You bougie scum. My glance was met with nothing as the man had already moved away and started looking at his phone. Because this guy stopped me, I entered the shop out of spite to some weird karma game I was playing in my head. I ordered a small coffee and sat down. Now that I wasn’t moving I had time to think about what I needed to do.

My mind wandered from making a to-do list about other more interesting and engaging things. What would I look like with blue hair? How long will it take me to re-read the Harry Potter series? Can I have powers just like in the Airbender series?

My eyes were staring in the distance and suddenly I saw movement that pulled me from my internal daze.

Feeling new

As I watched the sun fall into the horizon

I didn’t mind

because then the stars started to shine

in the darkness I find myself

becoming excited for the future

Today I spent creating things

rather than worrying about myself

it became something fun

and by the end of the day I was smiling

now as I look up to the sky

I find those blinking lights smiling back too

I am feeling newer than light shining through

and I can’t want to keep creating until

my shirt  button pops with imagination

Leader

I followed the leader

he was brighter than the sun

but he lead me away

from the warmth of

my heart

I followed the leader

she sounded stronger than stone

built on the foundations of fierce

she took me away from the sun

from the warmth of

my heart

I followed the leader

my mind

it boasted of great things

achievements never written or seen

my mind led me away from the sun

from the warmth

of my heart.

Writing:Living

I haven’t written in a while. Well a few days at least. It seems that part of me is dying when I forget to express myself through words. Maybe I’m just a romantic poet hoping to live a little. Maybe I am slowly dying and feel as though my words help me live past myself. Do you ever feel like crafting a whole story just to tear it up? Do you ever want to burn bridges just to watch?

It seems as though my life is consistently a balancing act over dark waters. And sometimes I just need the comfort of my own thoughts to take me from my reality.

The Bridge

I came to the edge of the road. A bridge expanded from my feet. Vast it was with beams and ropes. I thought about crossing that bridge. My bridge. For it was made by my imagination. I wanted to take a new journey across dangerous waters. No help of a lover or friend. Rather the bridge was mine and my own journey to cross it. I took a step and the wood planks faded underneath my feet. To my surprise I did not start falling but kept walking. Forward as I walked, the path disappeared. The bridge would leave just as I arrived. Over the brewing waters, I continued to cross until I could see the other side. On the shore of another land, I could see colors of green and even greener. Although I had felt lost before, I knew that soon I would arrive home.

He

I believe myself to be infatuated

with a face

and some legs

on these things a soul rests

but I seem to only enjoy the

surface.

He is a beautiful being

and beauty he wears

like a flower unadorned

and I wonder

and I wonder

and I wonder

I keep thinking about

when he will say hello

or when he will talk to me

but I am cold hearted

but nevermind