Dissociation

When I leave my body

I am still trapped

By my mind

Out of the conversation

and float

Into a space

Just left of

My left ear

I leave and wander

Its so strong

A magnet

Pulling me

Away from my senses

Then

I touch my cold glass

And I flip back into

Space and time

The sensation of

The condensation

Rolls between my finger

And with an exhale

I start to shift

Back

Left

Out of my body

Only in my mind

I hear a loud laugh

And a pounding of the table

Then I see

With my eyes

Although they never closed

I see for the first time

The laughing smiles

And the silverware

I notice your hair is curled

And I listen to your story

For a moment I am brought back

But then your eyes change

And I gaze past your face

Wondering about

Big questions

And I fall

Left

Out of place

Out of my body

With my mind

As my only companion

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Ships in the night

I followed my heart and

Told you

That I wanted to still be friends

And keep in touch

Lets see eachother again

I gave you a note

And said friendship

Can be real

Lets make sure

We don’t forget

Eachothers

Faces

Please do

Not dissapoint

I will be waiting

And once I return

I will reach out

Know I want our friendship to last

And for us to not be

Ships passing in the night

But I will not

Continue to

Your shore

Forever

So please

Reach out

And call my name

And I will answer

Everytime

Sleep

Why fall asleep

When you can

Lie awake

For hours

And dry out your

Eyes

Even before

You see the sun

Why put your mind at ease

And fall into a dreamless sleep

When you can contemplate your

Existence

And never

Find a real answer

Why do I lie awake

Hoping this night

Will be better

Than the last

Story

You have a story

A tale to tell

A life with moments

Trees filled with leaves

All

Making a beautiful picture

You have a story

A life to share

Maybe its clay

Molding you

Maybe it containes glass

Or a shattered mirror

I don’t mind the parts

That are hard or unpleasant

They are part

Of you

You have a story

I want to hear

And listen

And watch your words

Describing your life

I want to wait to hear your

Story

And learn

More

About

Your

Lovely life

Clay

Glass

Tree

Tell me your story

For I want to hear

First things

First things first

You must love your

Neighbor as yourself

But how can I do

Such a thing when I do

Not love myself?

First things first

You must love yourself

As God loves you

And care for your mind and soul

Then

The secrets of love

With become know

And multiply in your heart

You will love your neighbor

As yourself

Because

He first loved

You

These things will

Become known to

You

First things first

Social media anxiety

When I see those

Smiles

Photos

Capturing moments

And I see people going

Traveling

Warm tea

Or sunny beaches

All because they wanted to share

Its not their fault

When I see those photos

I start to question

If my life is full

Where is my worth

Where is my photo?

The deepening sadness

And anxiety

Lives in my heart for days

And I can’t get away from

How boring I feel

Discontent

I hate social media

Metal heart

Wire

Only metal

String to attach

My heart together

Sewn with tedious

Loops

It took me many years

To cover the patch

That had been left

Many metal strings

Breaking my fingernails

Bleeding tips to

Strain the needle

And thread through

So if I seem

Too harsh

Or not willing to budge

Its because my spirit is made of cold

Steel

I have built it up

To alleviate

Any pain

Or happy feelings

I don’t really hurt anymore

For the cost of protection

Is leaving behind

Love

I confess

My heart

still beats

And murmurs

Though waking hours

Are not

As dazzling

Warm me

Coax me to the fire

In your eyes and

Heart

Melt away my steel string

And burn away

All of me

So I cease to exist

Without you

Faith

When people ridicule

And laugh at

Faith

Religion

Or Spirituality

Manytimes they

Have not been able to see the whole

Picture

Sometime experience leaves them

Raw

Ruined

Or

Hurt

But my hope is

One day

They would

Start

To wonder about

God

Again

And how he works

People might think I’m

A Fool

Or lost

In something

Untrue

But I believe

In a story greater than myself

With an author

Who is creative and just

I find comfort in this story

Narration of life

I understand it might seem silly

But this poetry is real

It resonates with my soul

And I must confess

The truth

Its hard to have all the answers

So I do not pretend

That I do

Instead I read my story

The story revealed to me

And confidently

Walk into my life

Knowing this story has a

Good ending

Sanatorium

The phone is broken

Ringing to eternity

Never picked up

Because

Someone slashed the coords

Its a haunted place

What did you expect

Maybe even a ghost

Doorways shimmer

And footsteps above

Markings of time

and life

On the walls

A simple airplane

On the floor

If you touch a boy

Will choke you

Running away

For your friends are scared

The devil close at your heels

You hear the screams of the past

You know the tortured

Are gripping

Your

Hands

Screams from

Everyones lips

Feet over feet

Scrambing to leave

Just as you push open the door

You hear

The ring of a telephone

The one with slashed coords